01/01/2020

One of my biggest struggles is facing my fear of being imperfect. While I know that perfection is not always attainable, recently I have been so burnt out from my mistakes that I can hardly bear when something I do is imperfect. This has led to my outright avoidance of the task! It’s easy to imagine how fast this kind of avoidance behavior can bring someone downhill. In fact, my life has stagnated due to this. In 2020, I am changing this and confronting my obstacles, duties, and dreams instead of avoiding them. Avoidance means nothing will ever get done. Action will at least lead to progress. In many cases, absolute perfection is not even necessary. All that is factored in is the binary of whether it is done or not.

My 2020 plan of action is: Action!

Hello and Welcome!

What is “neurotenacity”? It’s a word that I made up, but it has a lot of meaning. It combines the words “neuroscience” and “tenacity.”

Neuroscience, generally, is my favorite subject to learn about and study. It also has deep personal significance, as I have a close relative with an intellectual and developmental disability. An even more intimate connection to neuroscience is my struggle with a disorder that has a neurological origin. Like many others, I was interested in psychology as a child. I explored that interest through readings on dreams and personality, as well as personality quizzes. I used to wonder where my mind was, whether it was distinct from my soul, and where my soul resided. How silly this sounds now! At that time in my childhood, it was not clear to me that my mind was rooted primarily within my cranium. In hindsight, talk of “following your heart” may have confused me. But I digress! Once I learned more about the brain being the origin of the mind, neuroscience became my ultimate passion. It was amazing to me that intangible thoughts, dreams, behaviors, and inclinations all had a physical explanation in the nervous system. I suppose this has turned me into a bit of a reductionist, but that’s a topic for another time… (:

Tenacity is a loaded word for me. I learned this word from a very smart friend in elementary school, Braeden F.. I don’t remember the exact context or the reason why, but I think he referred to me as tenacious (he always had an impressive and expansive vocabulary repertoire). We used to compete to see who could read the greatest number of books (and the greatest in page number), pass the most AR (Accelerated Reading) tests, and earn the most AR points. I remember coming out on top in 5th and 6th grade, but I think he won the first spot in 7th grade! I think that my tenacity throughout our rivalry led me to victory, at least for those two years (I was struck by a rebellious phase in 7th grade where I chose to socialize instead of study (: ).

Today, tenacity still is a strong force within me. While I feel bogged down by my sleep disorder and my academics, I have faith in my abilities, passion, and desire to use my intellect to serve others. I continue pushing forward towards my dreams and ambitions, albeit slowly and stumbling at times, yet with all the persistence I can muster.

I am Aarti, and I strive to exemplify neurotenacity!